I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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