i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
