Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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