Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
