I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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