My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
