I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
