dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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