is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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