We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
