i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
