barbara walters just said penis...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
