She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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