Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
