In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
