he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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