So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
