This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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