hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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