consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
