I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How does one acquire holy water?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
