After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
