Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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