after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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