I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
