im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
