I wanna bring you to show and tell
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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