Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize