You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
