I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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