Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
