Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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