there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
