Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
