More tranny stories later!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
