Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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