Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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