I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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