Sponge bath it is.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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