3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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