he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
