I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
