Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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