Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
