I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
