I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
