all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
