i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
