Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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