I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
