Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

scale of 1-10 how well do I give head

(1-907): View more from Alaska

5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.

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(347): View more from New York

We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job

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(908): View more from New Jersey

don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.

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(773): View more from Illinois

At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me

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(647): View more from Ontario

Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size

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