Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
