I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
