sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
