Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
