Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
