what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
